wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
