I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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