im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
