it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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