i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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