i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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