i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm both gender and math confused
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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