so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Just invented taco cereal.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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