you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
