its not stalking. its research.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
