haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
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thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
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I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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