I'm laying in your front yard are you home
literally had 100 drinks last night.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
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I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
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Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize