We're facebook friends in real life
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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