its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
farters have to be the big spoon...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Just high enough for therapy.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
