i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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