someone threw a dead crab at me
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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