I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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