i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
