there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
