Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize