Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
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