I haven't been this sober since birth.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
