I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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