Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
