first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
