can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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