what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
