I just cut my nipple shaving
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
