Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
