I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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