I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
