he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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