we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
