..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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