yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
