If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
