What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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