Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
