so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
