another moral hangover. fuck.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fill condoms, not promises.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize