Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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