Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
