glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
