Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
