I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
