i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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