One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
