I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
