dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
