Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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