I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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