careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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