I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
