I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
