The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You are a genius and a whore.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
