We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
