you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
you had me at cake vodka
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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