I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
only you would photoshop your dick
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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