Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
